This book made me .... anything but .... HAPPY.
I have delayed in writing this review because so many of the other BookIt readers loved the book. I needed time to think this through. I feel that Gretchen Rubin is one of the most narcissistic people I have ever "met". She admits (p.24) her "insatiable need for credit"... and continues throughout the book to need recognition for all her good acts, but never realizes the fact that all this self-absorption is the epitome of selfishness. I think a book on the quotes of her husband would have been a much more beneficial read. Poor guy.
Let me say from the beginning that I DID gain three tidbits of info from her that I was able to use for inspiration. She sites a study that suggests that "eliminating clutter would cut down the amount of housework in the average home by 40 percent". (p.25) Although I already realized the need to declutter, the very statistic was enough to get me going through closets and donating unused clothing, dishes, craft supplies, etc. I have even made good on my new years resolution to get all those photos and scrapbooking supplies IN A SCRAPBOOK! I made a six month plan to accomplish my goal and am only 1 week behind (at the present last week of Feb.)
Secondly, by applying our "power-clean", akin to Rubins one-minute rule, the girls and I are able to keep the house livable. We have been doing this one each night for years. We usually call it the 5 minute power clean... but sometimes, it's just a 1 minute power clean (before company arrives) or it can be a 15 minute power clean when vacuuming or dishes are involved. I have been very pleased with this system, as it allows us to wake to a fairly clean room and have a place to sit and drink a cup of coffee without staring at all the mess we left the night before.
Lastly, I found it interesting that she often quotes G. K. Chesterton, a favorite of my husband. Her very eclectic list of authors quoted really needed some more from him.
It saddened me to read how she decided that even when doing for others, it can be so much more satisfying to "do it for yourself, you don't expect other people to " (p.46) acknowledge it or to be grateful and give you credit. So, even when DOING FOR OTHERS, she is really , doing for herself. Wow. Now, that's self centered.
Finally, on (P.127) she plays with her children. All along, as she goes about exploring her own wants and desires, these two children are growing up right before her eyes. Her 'happiness' could definitely be increased if she would but spend time with them and be interested in them, rather than herself. However, she did refer to it as, "opportunities to see the ridiculous side of things.... and goof around". It was like forced fun for her. Sad. She even seemed annoyed that she would have to 'show up' to a parents meeting at her child's school. "Accommodation fun" is her term for anything involving the whole family. She admits, "I'm really there because my children want to go", and quotes Jerry Seinfield saying, "There's no such thing as 'Fun for the whole family'. (p.135) She found it difficult to enjoy these times unless there was an ulterior motive. Which was also her reason not to say critical things about others. If she criticizes someone else, those qualities would be unintentionally transferred to her, and since she is so self centered, she decided that it wasn't in her best interest to be critical of others. (p. 156) Ugh. Her interest in others is so limited that she has to set a 'friend quota' to accomplish and uses the people she meets as pawns in this goal. How about just being INTERESTED in someone Else's life.... for their sake!
I found it very interesting in her June checklist for first encounters, that she had no comment to make on the one entitled "Show a vulnerable side and laugh at yourself". She takes herself way too seriously. One must always be able to laugh at ourselves, after all, NObody is perfect, not even Gretchen.
"I have been crucified with Christ, and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and delivered Himself up for me." Galatians 2:20
As for me and my house, I will gladly slip on my ruby slippers and pronounce 'There's No Place Like Home'!
When discussing John Stuart Mill, she believes he meant 'that thinking about your happiness makes you self-absorbed' ... and she is right on point here, for a change. The whole conversation about knowing who she WISHED she was and who she ACTUALLY was, revealed alot about her insecurities. It reminded how Solomon states that one will continue to 'strive after the wind' until he has filled his yearning with the Lord. Money, power, fame, sex, education... non of it will satisfy. A deep longing for fulfillment will continue to eat at us. Since Gretchen describes herself as a "reverent agnostic".... she is still seeking. She asks when challenged by a guy at a party about her 'self-indulgent' project, "If happiness isn't the point, what is?" She is looking for the answer, but looking inside oneself isn't where the answer can be found. "..... to live is Christ, and to die is gain." Philippians 1:21
I was actually humored by her mention of how the Shakers 'deliberately introduced a mistake into the things they made, to show that man shouldn't aspire to the perfection of God.' Funny. Like we would really be perfect if we didn't flaw intentionally. Hah! I don't have to force myself to sin... it is quite easy and evident that I am a sinner through and through.
I hope that one day, when Gretchen meets the Lord Jesus Christ, she can be content in her self and her realization of her value in Him. She will not be ashamed of her love of children's lit because others might think it uncool. She will be comfortable in who she is as a child of God.
PS Wish I had a dime for every time she used the words "me", "I", "My" in this book :)
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